Charles Bukowski On Enduring

The only way out is through.

I have said this to myself too many times to count. It is one of my go-to mantras, and for good reason. Avoiding the hard things solves very little. In my experience, trying not to disturb the edges of a problem has a magnifying effect and generally makes the situation worse.

We all have to confront the hard things: the end of a marriage, the loss of a parent, the betrayal of a friend, a cruel diagnosis. The problem with hard things is that they can be really fucking hard. So hard that, at times, we can’t contemplate how or even if we will emerge on the other side. But emerge we do. How do I know this? I am typing. You are reading. We have survived.

So, when Bukowski says

what matters most is how well you walk through the fire

he is reminding us it is not only a matter of enduring but also of understanding what changes endurance has wrought because when we emerge on the other side, we are changed. Time has passed. Perspectives shifted. Emotions steadied. Clarity feels possible. The present hurts less. We are often refined and made stronger because of the experience. Enduring becomes intertwined with surviving; some may even say it makes us warriors.

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Read the full text of Bukowski’s quote here.

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